C’était un Rendezvous

In 1976  Claude Lelouch made a short film called C’était un Rendezvous (it’s a date), which consisted of a short drive through Paris in a  Mercedes-Benz 450SEL 6.9  to the soundtrack of a Ferrari 275GTB V-12 engine. The premise of the story is that a young man meeting his bird. Obviously he ‘s wants to be up to his nuts in guts before the date’s over but he know if he keeps her waiting she’s less likely to spread her legs. So he puts foot down.

The brilliant thing about this film is that it was done in one shot. No roads were closed. No permission was sought. Claude Lelouch just put foot down and taught the world that driving at 230 km/h wasn’t dangerous.

So why I am posting this? Do you need a reason?

Well alright then. I’ve driven faster than that on motorcycles and in cars around the streets of  a lot of European cities. I’ve broken speed limits, run through red lights and all without incident. I don’t think we need speed limits or traffic lights because what sort of miserable prick doesn’t exceed the speed limit or run red lights every now and again? All we need is skill and common sense.

Semi Automatic Failure

Merda! or in English, Shit! A semi-automatic failure might be annoying down the range  but in close combat it’s a life or death situation. Fortunately it’s completely avoidable. The only failure I’ve ever had have been deliberate.

The three most common failures with a semi-auto pistol are failure to feed, failure to extract, and failure to eject. The first one, failure to feed, is the most common. Basically, the bullet doesn’t travel from magazine to chamber and the slide only close partially aka “out of battery”,  there are three main reason for this: riding the slide, short sliding and muzzle contact with the target. Riding the slide is simply holding on to the slide as it travels forward, so it doesn’t travel with enough velocity to properly feed the bullet into the chamber. Short sliding is not pulling the slide back far enough, which means it doesn’t have the full range of motion necessary to chamber the round, and muzzle contact with the target has the same effect. All of these are easily avoidable — DON’T FUCKING DO IT!

The other reasons for a failure to feed are a dirty chamber, which doesn’t really apply to modern semi autos, or a damaged magazine. But modern semi auto are designed to be twat proof, so if you have any sort of failure the chances are that pulling the trigger again will resolve the problem.  The other two problems: failure to extract i.e.  the bullet fired, but the extractor didn’t pull the fired case from the chamber and you get a  “double-feed” or another round in the chamber; and failure to eject, which is similar, the fired case is caught in the chamber, which causes the slide to lock, called  “stovepiping”.  these failures can again be linked to a dirty chamber but in all reality you can pretty much guarantee the cause was “limp-wristing” (not holding the pistol firmly enough). Again the solution – DON’T FUCKING DO IT!

So having established that these failures are completely avoidable, why do they happen? Generally speaking, I’d say it was incompetence with the exception of riding the slide and short sliding, which can be the result of poor training. Not everyone is strong enough to pull the slide back with one hand, which is why I advocate the pull and punch method. I’ve yet to meet an able bodied adult who is not strong enough to do this, and in a real life situation when you want to shoot someone it’s all too easy to short slide which is why I advocate carrying Condition One, with the gun all ready cocked.

Why Europeans Don’t Drive Pickup Trucks

Ram 1500 Pickup Truck

Lots of Americans drive pickup trucks, in fact, the Ford F-series trucks are the best selling vehicles in America today and the Chevy Silverado and Ram Trucks are in the top five best selling vehicles. But in Europe, hardly anyone has one. Those three American pickups aren’t even sold in mainland Europe. There is just simply no demand for them. Now a lot of Americans I spoken to assume that just because of the petrol engines. To be fair, no self-respecting European tradesman would buy a light commercial vehicle with a petrol engine because they are inefficient and more expensive to run. So its a waste of time trying to flog a Ram 1500 with a 3.6 V6 Penastar or 5.7 V8 Hemi engine but as Ram Trucks are owned by FIAT they could easily fit a more efficient smaller diesel engine for the European market. The reason they don’t is they still won’t sell. The diesel engine Mitsubishi L200, Isuzu D-Max, Toyota Hilux and Nissan Navara are already on the European market and they sell about as well as condoms in a lesbian colony.

The main reasons that tradesmen don’t buy them in Europe is that they are hugely impractical, expensive and there are better vehicles on the market that do the same job. They impractical because unless you have a hard top anyone can help themselves to whats in the back. And when you come to unload them you only have access at the tailgate. Whereas with a cargo, dropside or flatbed van you can unload from the side, which is a lot less hassle. The other problem with pickups is they have 2 seats (or 5 seats in a double cab) but if you have nothing in the back it’s a waste of space. European combi vans are like MPVs, in fact a lot of MPVs are factory customised vans.

FIAT Doblo

My FIAT Doblo, which is an MPV based on a van. It’s a five seater and still has room for two larges dogs or I can fold down the 3 rear seats and it has a payload of 1 metric tonne and 2 metres of space in the back and seat 2. If I wanted it I could have had the family option, which has another two seats in the back making it a 7 seaters and these are proper seats . There’s also a dropside version of the Doblo van, which has 2 metre flatbed and a payload of 1 metric tonne. So there is no practical reason for a tradesmen to buy a pickup truck, when European vans do a better job, and they are also cheaper and more economical to run. Even full sized vans like the Iveco Daily, FIAT Ducato, Mercedes Sprinter and Ford Transit with payloads from 3,5 to 7 metric tonnes are more economical to run than American pickups with half tonne payloads.

Doblo Workup

Iveco Daily 4×4

I know a lot of Americans believe that European builders and farmers would need pickup trucks but they don’t. Most European vans with a pair of winter Pierelli’s on are more than capable on handling a building site and if you really needed a 4×4 the Iveco Daily 4×4 and Mercedes Unimog are serious off-roaders that will hold their own against any SUV, and carry a lot more than any pickup trucks. In America one of the largest selling points for pickup trucks seems to be towing capacity because lets face it, they have shit payloads for their size. But most European farmers don’t need them because they’ve got tractors, which do all the towing they need, and a lot of farmers drive around in SUVs like the Land Rover Defenders, Range Rovers, Mercedes G-Class, Audi Q7s and VW Touaregs. Although in Italy, farmers like driving around in Lamborghini tractors or riding around on Aprilia, Husky, Beta and KTM motorbikes. The nearest they come to pickup trucks is the Piaggio Porter dropsides.

FIAT Ducato

Although, in America most pickup trucks aren’t being bought by tradesmen. There are too many being sold, so they obviously being bought as an alternative to a SUV. The reason that doesn’t happen in Europe is simple: European cars and SUVs are a lot better than American cars and SUVs. There is a reason that the best selling cars in America aren’t American. But what self-respecting American wants to drive some Jap crap? Don’t get me wrong, the Mazda RX8, Mitsubishi Lancer Evo and Nissan 350Z are fun to drive but the interiors are shit and you wouldn’t want them as your main car. So I can see why Americans do buy pickup trucks. It the same reason they buy Harleys. They want to drive American, and you don’t get much more American than a Harley or  a pickup. But in Europe, no one wants to drive American and there are a lot of very cool and affordable European cars and SUVs as an alternative.

Speeding isn’t Dangerous

We’re always being told that speeding is dangerous but that’s bollocks. In 2011, drivers exceeding the posted speed limit were only involved in 5% of all traffic accidents in the UK, including 13 per cent of all fatal accidents. That’s right: 95% of all traffic accidents and 87% of all fatal accidents didn’t involve a speeding driver. So the statistics prove that speeding isn’t dangerous. Actually, the faster you drive the safer you are. Only 3.8% of road accidents and 5% of road fatalities took place on motorway. Whereas 98.8% of all accidents and 87% of fatalities took place on roads with speed limits of 60 mph or below. And just over two-thirds of accidents (66.7%) and just over a third (34.4%) of fatalities took place on roads with speed limits of 30 mph or below. So the slower roads are where all the accidents are happening.

Now you might be think that these are freak statistics but actually this has been a consistent pattern for the last 5 years of figures for the UK. Its also consistent with the Italian figures for 2010 and consistent with MAIDS (Motorcycle Accidents In Depth Study), which showed most motorcycle accidents and fatalities occurred under 30 mph at junctions and involved under-powered 50cc mopeds and superbikes were among the safest.

So why do we keep getting get told that speeding is dangerous? I think there are number of reasons. For a start speeding fines generate enormous amounts of revenue, and now that the police have turned highwaymen and use speed limits as an excuse to commit highway robbery, they’ve got a vested interest in pretending that speeding is dangerous. Then there’s the environmentalist soap-dodgers, who want us to drive hybrids at 20 mph to reduce are carbon emissions, although I’d hazard a guess that the emissions from a vegan’s arse do much more damage to the environment than any Ferrari. Then we have the road safety brigade. Those bastards aren’t going to admit they’ve been lying to us for years and the entire basis for speed limits is based on a false premise. But the main reason is that we been hearing this bullshit for so long that most people don’t even challenge it anymore.

None of the arguments against speeding make sense. For a start driving under the speed limit is counter-intuitive, you’re not driving the road conditions, to the limits of your ability or the car or bikes capability, you’re driving to some arbitrary speed limit that has no relevance to capabilities of modern cars or the speeds people really drive at. Take me for example. I don’t drive that fast around the city anymore, but I’ll still do between 200-300 km/h (125-185 mph) down the autostrada, depending on what I’m driving or riding. But there will be cars and motorbikes passing me on the left when I’m doing 250 km/h (155 mph). Nobody except for the American tourists in their Hertz rentals observes the 130 km/h (80 mph) speed limit. So clearly, that speed limit is obsolete.

And the UK is no better. They raised the speed limit from 70 mph to 80 mph. What was the point? If you want to drive at 80 mph, which is ridiculously slow in modern car, then you shouldn’t being driving on a motorway. They should have raised the limit to 155 mph or done away with speed limits altogether. An English judge threw a dangerous driving case out of court because she accepted that it wasn’t dangerous to drive 150 mph down a highway in a Porsche 911. I’ve driven down unlimited sections of the German autobahn, it’s not dangerous and most people don’t drive over 250 km/h anyway. We don’t need driving limits to prevent accidents. Most accidents are caused by idiots driving under the speed limit without due care and attention.

American Semi Automatic Pistols

According to ATF statistics, 1, 219, 664 semi automatic pistols were manufactured in America in 2007, which is over 3x more than the number of revolvers for the same year. Over 25% of US manufactured pistols were made by American owned companies. Smith & Wesson alone made 302 633 pistols, which is more than Sig Sauer, Beretta USA, Glock, FNH USA and CZ USA put together, and the second largest US pistol manufacturer in 2007 was Strum, Ruger & Co. But neither of these American companies produce competitive semi automatic pistols. Smith & Wesson’s idea of innovation was to bring out a substandard and unlicensed version of the Glock in 1994 — 12 years after the original came out in Austria — and to add insult to injury they called it a Sig! SIGma — a stroke of genius!

The S&W M&P series would have been cutting edge thirty odd years ago, but in 2005 they’re just another Glock wannabe, as is their new SD range they brought out for the civilian market this year. Ruger are even worse. The SR9 they brought out in 2007 can be best summed up as a piece of crap and the 2008 Ruger LCP is a 6+1 round capacity 9mm Corto, which is one round less than the Beretta 3032 Tomcat, but that came out 14-years ago! Whereas the Beretta Px4 Storm subcompact has a 13+1 round capacity in 9mm and shoots as accurately as a full sized pistol and with barely any recoil. There’s just no comparison.

Colt 1911

And the only pistols that Colt, America’s most famous handgun manufacturer, are currently making are more variations of their famous 1911.Their Colt 2000, which came out in 1992 and was supposed to be their pistol for the new millennium wasn’t even still in production in 2000. In fact, the Colt 1911 was the last truly competitive American semi automatic pistol. That’s part of the problem because nearly every American pistol manufacturer makes a version of the Colt 1911. If they were only being made for nostalgia or sport that would be fair enough, I own a couple myself, but the problem is that is still being made and sold as defensive pistol.

I know a lot of Americans thinks that the Colt 1911 is the best semi automatic pistol ever made, and to be fair, when it was first commissioned as a service pistol by the US army in 1911, it was an innovative, greatly admired and often imitated pistol. But now, just shy of a century later: a heavy, overbuilt, single action, 7×1 round capacity full sized pistol is an antique. To be honest it was really starting to show its age before WWII. Even in 1911, it wasn’t the most accurate firearm on the market: the Luger P08, Glisenti Model 1910, and Bergmann Bayard M1910 Mars were all more accurate, even if they were less durable.

The Colt 1911A1, which came out in 1924, and was designated the M1911A1 by the US military was a barely improved 1911. The only differences were a shorter trigger, indents in the frame behind the trigger, no “Double Diamond” on the grip, arched mainspring housing, longer grip safety spur, wider front sight and a shorter spur on the hammer. The working parts of the weapon were unchanged. The Pistola Campo-Giro de 9mm Modelo 1913-16, Astra 1921, Astra Model 900  (1927), Walther PP and PPK  (1929), Tokarev TT-33, Beretta M1934, FN 9mm Hi-Power 1935 and Walther P38, which were all better pistols than the M1911A1 were in production before the outbreak of WWII.

The reason that the M1911A1 was in service from 1924 until it was replaced on the 14 January 1985, by the Beretta 92FS had nothing to do with combat performance; it was because it was over-procured. During WWII the US military procured 1.9 million M1911A1 and didn’t purchase any after 1945 because they had more pistols than men. Although the US military adopted the Beretta 92FS in 1985, the Italian army adopted it in 1980 as a replacement for the Beretta M1951. The Beretta 92FS is was one of the original wonder nines and came out back in 1972 and its proved itself to be far more accurate and reliable.

The US military are looking Now they are looking to replace the Beretta 92FS but after 65-years in the wilderness, manufacturing revolvers, I can’t see Colt getting the contract with a double stacked 1911. If the rumours are right, the US Army want a .45 ACP calibre polymer pistol. So Smith & Wesson better start looking at ripping off the Beretta Px4 Storm SD.

Knife Sharpening

A lot of chefs get their knives professionally sharpened but you won’t find any artists getting their pencils professionally sharpened. Admittedly, most of those workshy, soap-dodgers don’t do enough doodling to blunt their pencils, but you get the point — no pun intended — sharpening a knife requires a little bit of knowledge and skill.

There are lots of different ways to sharpen a knife: I learned two of them at school during woodwork and metalwork classes. Unfortunately, a lot of lads don’t do useful subjects like that they do home-economics (aka cooking and shopping), sowing, and pottery, which ain’t going to be much help when he gets married and his old lady wan’t him to sharpen her kitchen knives. She’s not going to know how to sharpen them because you know she didn’t do metalwork or woodwork at school — she’s a bird — she took cooking and shopping. And it doesn’t just end there: a mate of mine gets a call from his sister because her boyfriend’s got a puncture and he don’t know how to change a tire! Jesus, Marry and Joseph: I could change a tire, hotwire a motor and drive by the time I was twelve.

Anyhow, you sharpen a knife by grinding it against something harder than the blade, which removes metal from the edge, like a grinding wheel, whetstone, Japanese water stone, diamond coated steel, belt sander, sand paper, V sharpener or draw through sharpener. You can even grind it against the bottom of a coffee mug, and if you’re that much of a cheap bastard, you probably wipe your arse with a free newspaper and buy your Mrs lingerie from a second hand shop.

Whatever you sharpen your knife with you need to grind a consistent bevel angle along the entire length of the edge. The bevel angle depends on the grind and type of knife: it’s 10° on a razor, 20° on a kitchen knife and 30° on a meat cleaver. That’s why a V grind sharpener is better than sharpening freehand on a whetstones or waterstones, but personally, I prefer using a bench grinder or the scary sharp method.

Mechanical grinders are the most effective way to put an edge on a blade but they’re also the most dangerous, especially if you’re female. In fact, if you’re female you shouldn’t be touching any power tools. Here’s Willy from Carson’s Saw Shop in Eugene, Oregon, who has been abusing the gimp chained up in the back room, and professionally sharpening tools for 25 or 30 years — he can’t remember — demonstrating how not to use a pedestal grinder. The idiot grinds against the side of  the wheel instead of the edge. How he hasn’t lost his fingers or killed himself is a mystery to me.

Willy doesn’t bother using a grinding jig to get an accurate and consistent angle, he just guesses and when screws up, he says it doesn’t matter, and he’s supposed to be a professional sharpener. How that shop stays in business is beyond me. If you’re going to use a bench grinder — you can get one for well under $50  –  follow the safety instructions, they’re there for a reason. Also don’t guess the angles use a grinding jig. You can get a decent one for $30 but if you’re too cheap you can make one out of wood with a G-clamp. You can also use an angle grinder but don’t turn it upside down on a working surface or hold the blade with one hand and the angle grinder in the other. Secure the knife in a grinding jig or vice and use the angle grinder with two hands.

After grinding, a blade has a wire edge, which needs to be honed to get rid of all those burs. Otherwise it won’t retain an edge and you’ll be sharpening the knife all the time. The difference between grinding and honing is that you don’t remove any metal when you’re honing. So technically, honing isn’t sharpening. You’re just straightening the edge, which makes it cut better. That’s why you can’t sharpen a blunt blade on a steel. Then you have the final stage of the process: polishing, which finishes and smooths the blade, and reduces oxidation. You can use a polishing stone, leather strop or sand paper to polish a blade, or you can just buff it against a buffing wheel on a bench grinder, which is what I normally do.

Stropping a Razor

I shave with a Dovo Full Hollow Ground black nickel 6/8″ straight razor, and before every shave I’ll strop it on leather strop, with some Stangen strop paste. Just like this.

It’s easy to do and takes no real skill. You lay the razor flat, draw it across the strop spine first and turn it over, then go the other way, and remember a slow pass is just as good as a fast pass. It’s not a race. Obviously you’re not sharpening a blade with a strop, you’re just realigning the blade and taking off any burs. When a strop isn’t enough you can make a few passes on a honing stone, and when that fails, then you’ve got to sharpen it, although a lot of barbers, like chefs, send them off to be professionally sharpened. But I think that’s stupid because it’s not difficult to sharpen a razor.

A straight razor is hollow ground i.e. it’s concave coming to a fine delicate edge, so it’s easy to fuck up on a whetstone, waterstone or a grinder. But you can sharpen and hone it with sandpaper: sharpen it on a 1k grits, hone it on a 4k grit and polish it with a 6k grit, stroking the blade across the paper just like you’re stropping, and spray some water on the paper. You only need a few passes on each grit. But don’t do it to often and put some electrical tape on the spine of the razor to protect it, because otherwise you’ll grinding the spine, but you don’t need to worry about that on a strop.

Can you use a strop with a normal knife I hear you ask. Well as it goes, yes you can, just a couple a couple of passes after you’ve ground the edge will take the burs off and polish it. But if you do it like you do a razor dragging it spine first, you’ll end up with a concave bevel angle. So use it like a grinding stone: tip to heel at a 20º angle (or whatever your bevel angle is) against some leather on a hard service. I’ve got a proper barber’s strop hanging on the bathroom sink because I use a straight razor, but you could get away with using an old leather belt as a strop.

Using a Honing Steel

As I said in the previous post using a honing  steel is just used for realigning the edge but doesn’t remove any metal. But this is where some people get confused, realigning the edge makes the knife sharper, without actually sharpening it. t makes sense: if you think about it because when you realign the edge on a honing steel you’re straightening it — a straight edge cuts better than a bent edge — it’s as simple as that. So a couple of strokes before and after every use on a honing steel will prolong it’s sharpness but every so often you’re going to have to sharpen it as well because you can run a dull blade down a honing steel as much as you like, you’re never going to sharpen the thing, which is why a lot of people have blunt knives.

This is where some people can get confused, a diamond coated steel, sharpens a blade, because industrial grade diamond is harder than steel and will strip metal off every time you run the edge of the blade down it. Now you might think a diamond steel is a good idea because you’re actually sharpening the knife, but if you use a diamond steel as often as you would use a honing steel, you’re going to wear down that knife pretty fast and if you’re not keeping a consistent angle using the steel, you’ll round or chip the edge. So a diamond steel is only good if you really know  what you’re doing, and most people don’t. Here is Gordon Ramsay, top chef with Michelin stars coming out his arse, demonstrating how to fuck up a top of the range Wüsthof knife with a Wüsthof diamond steel.

If you clang a knife against a diamond or honing steel like that you’ll chip he edge of the knife and the steel. Here is how to do it properly:

When you hold the steel tip facing down, don’t hold it in a reverse grip, hold it in a forehand grip so your arm is out of the way and go nice and slow — it’s not a race. But even if you do it properly make sure you’re doing it at the correct angle, 20º on a kitchen knife, unless you’re stupid enough to buy Japanese chisel ground knives, which you only steel down one side and at a 15-18° angle. Japanese chefs might rate them, but lets be fair, they don’t even use knives and forks –their idea of good cuisine is poisonous raw fish, eaten off the floor with a couple of twigs. What the fuck do they know about cutlery?